Quiz: What type of dad are you?

Yeah, there's a quiz for that.

1. When your kid makes a brown biohazard you:
A) take a deep breath, scoop him up and discreetly change his diaper in the next room without requiring a parade.
B) say, "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew," and look for Mommy. Only after not finding her do you change the diaper. You know exactly how many no. 2s you have changed in your life.
C) pretend like you didn't notice the obvious stink bomb in your kids drawers, discreetly shuffle him towards someone you know will notice, then shout, "Not it!" when they figure it out.

More after the jump

2. When a mommy at the playground asks you how many teeth your little darling has you:
A) tell the mom exactly how many teeth, including the number of half emerged teeth she has and where you think the next molar will emerge.
B) pry open your kiddo's mouth and start counting.
C) admit you didn't realize they were born without teeth. Don't they have the same number as adults? Or are they like sharks?

3. At meal times you:
A) prep his plate by cutting his food into perfectly sized pieces: not too big so he doesn't choke and not too small so he can pick it up.
B) watch your spouse prep the food while you get an early start on eating, all the while swearing you will get it next time.
C) eat your meal quickly over the kitchen sink, then disappear into the living room to play Modern Warefare.

4. Your spouse sends you to the store for an emergency diaper run. You:
A) return with the correct brand and size. Oh yeah, and you used a coupon to get them for half-price.
B) ask what brand and size she wears before leaving the house, then call from the car and from the store to confirm. Half the time you get it right.
C) wait until she is sitting in her last soiled diaper, then go to the store and buy the wrong brand and the wrong size. When you get home you argue that, yes these are a size too small, but you got way more diapers for the same price.

5. Your little girl flips out 5 minutes into a car ride to the park. You:
A) run through the list of possible problems: Dropped toy? Sun in eyes? Nasty diaper? Baby wants music? Ahhh, baby wants music.
B) pretend like you don't hear it.
C) actually don't hear it.

6. You're late for a play date and your spouse asks you to get your little boy dressed. You:
A) already have an outfit in mind. It's a cute little football jersey that will go perfect with the cargo shorts you just bought for him.
B) ask your spouse what you want him to wear, then rummage through his dresser looking for the outfit. You waste enough time that your spouse eventually comes in, points out that the clothes are "Right there!" and now he/she has to reorganize the entire dresser. Thanks.
C) dress your kid. He looks like a hobo or a character from Zoolander. Your spouse rolls his/her eyes. You reply, "What, he's dressed." Your spouse replies, "His shirt is on backwards."

7. Your pre-verbal toddler launches into a concerned rant, waving her arms, pointing to everything and babbling incoherently. You:
A) understand that she is thirsty and having a debate with herself about the merits of drinking milk versus juice. Oh, and she wants a puppy.
B) watch amused for a little while, then turn on the TV. Eventually this behavior will stop.
C) watch amused for a little while, then turn on the TV. Eventually this behavior will stop.

8) It's 3 o'clock snack time! You:
A) prepare a nutritious snack that your daughter will like. It's a new recipe.
B) can't figure out why she's so fussy. Your spouse asks you at 4 o'clock what she had for a snack. Oops.
C) are hungry so you eat.

If you answered mostly As.
Overachieving Dad. You're super involved in your kid's life. This is all new to you, but it's also a lot of fun. You love your kid more than anything in the world.

If you answered mostly Bs.
Typical Dad. You're just like your dad: a little aloof, a little enigmatic, but always there when your kid needs help. That being said, it's amazing how a long weekend really helps you reintegrate into the family. You love your kid more than anything in the world.

If you answered mostly Cs, or if you jumped straight to the results of this quiz.
Slacker Dad. But you already knew that. You're proud of your slacker aesthetic. Your kids worship you. You're always ready for fun. You love your kids more than anything in the world.