Upgrade your life: Dads, dump the diaper bag

When we were expecting Finn, I had a hard time caring about all the baby shower hoopla. We needed SO MUCH STUFF, but registering for it was an exercise in tedium. Which color bottle warmer do you want?; What should the theme for the nursery be?; I honestly don't give a crap. My clothes barely ever match and when they do I walk out of the house looking like one of those little green army men dressed head to toe in slightly faded shades of drab green.

What is your brand of diapers? We have not met him yet... so I have no idea. What kind of bottles do you want? There's more than one type? You guys are killing me with the questions.

Not to mention, baby shower are for women. They are. Yes, they are.

More on this, and my pick for the best daddy diaper bag after the jump...

Exhibit A. If I was going to buy a dude a gift, I would throw it in his window as he drove by wrapped in the plastic bag it came in, with the receipt in the bag. Then I would need to ask him for the receipt back so that I could return the diapers that I bought at the same time because they were the wrong damn brand. I would not watch him open it in front of me. I would not expect a thank you card.

Exhibit B.  Guys don't like to be watched while they open presents, even when the presents are technically for a third party. They especially don't want to hear a room full of women sighing, "Ahhhhh" every time they open a present.

Exhibit C.  IT'S A ROOM FULL OF WOMEN!

More on this story, and my diaper bag solution, after the jump.

All kidding aside, we really needed the financial help we received from our many friends and family members in order to equip our lives for a baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And now, to the point of this post. The only thing I cared about when we were registering for gifts was the diaper bag that we registered for. It couldn't have flowers, baby animals or cute sayings on it. It could not be pink, mauve, paisley, pin stripped or even close to pastel. Nothing frilly, fluffy or soft. I guess my ideal bag was leather, heavily riveted, lined in steel wool and covered in tattoos! The pit bull of diaper bags.

I don't know why, but I deeply felt that I would be judged as a father by the diaper bag I carried. So I wanted to make sure that it said the right things about me. Like, yes I am a man with a baby, this is my baby. And no, I didn't just steal him from his mother. It said that I was my own parent, that I was not going to just defer to my wife in all things baby. It said that I was not, in fact, carrying around my wife's purse.

After some trial and error, and some jockeying with my wife over what does and does not count as a diaper bag (mothers, anything you purchased for the initial purpose of carrying around a wallet or makeup is not a suitable diaper bag for a man) I got my own damn diaper bag, and I think it is the perfect diaper bag for a dude.

Strobist: SB-25 bare camera right sitting on a chair at 1/16

power to throw hard shadows. SB-600 camera left at 1/32 into

ST umbrella for fill.

It's a backpack! More correctly, it is my old high school JanSport. It satisfies several criteria for manliness. It is old. I did not have to leave the house to buy it. It is stained, but the good kind of stains that are left behind after thorough decontamination. It is a little ragged at the edges.
It never falls off my shoulder leaving both of my hands free to wrangle snakes or knife fight at all times. Nothing ever falls out the top of it, not even towels. It has plenty of room and I because of its flimsy outer construction, I can stuff it almost anywhere.

AND JanSport backpacks COME WITH A LIFETIME WARRANTY. That's the gift that keeps on giving.

I am sending mine in this week to have a strap repaired, which is why I am writing this post. I'm gonna miss you... bag.